Thankfully, I've since learned the value of a full night's sleep and those all-nighters are long gone. But that doesn't mean that I don't stretch that "last minute" down to the very nano second. Even when I've planned and prepared for youth ministry events to the best of my ability, something almost always goes wrong.
That was today.
I had everything completely organized and taken care of for our Confirmation class session. The catechists' guides, candidate's handouts, and closing prayer preparations were triple-checked, in their places, and ready to go. We even had a talented guest speaker coming in, so I didn't have to worry about teaching. This should have been one of the easiest sessions of the entire year.
"Should have been" are the key words here.
Our parish hosted a women's group event on the previous Friday night, which meant I had to go in a little earlier than usual to be sure that the room was presentable. How bad could it be? Just a couple tables and chairs scattered here and there, right? As soon as that was taken care of, I'd swing by one of our parishioners' homes to pick up a foosball table that she was donating, and everything would be done.com
Um, yeah. That didn't happen.
I arrived later than I'd planned, partly because of being stuck behind a freight train. When I finally got there, the room was a mess. Half of the chairs we needed were gone, tables were scattered everywhere, and our audio/visual equipment was completely unplugged (there are about 20 wires and 433 buttons on that stupid thing). When I went toward the back hallway to turn the lights on, I found it locked. As it would figure, that's just about the one door my key does not open.
That's okay... we can just have class in the dark, right?
Sure. Too bad this hallway not only housed all of the light switches for the entire parish center, but also all of our prayer materials, Bibles, catechist's books, and candidates' journals. Basically, everything we needed for class. That's when 3:45 a.m. Lindsay-in-a-panic took over. Funny how one, stupid little key had the potential to ruin our entire class session (except it really wasn't funny).
I ran to the office and called every staff member who might know where a key to this hallway was. I finally got a hold of one of our maintenance engineers. After I explained the situation, he paused for a moment before finally letting out a slow and drawn out, "Oooooooh...... sh-t."
Yep. My thoughts, too. His first suggestion didn't work, and time was slipping. "Well, you can try sneaking behind the projector and sliding over the old altar and through the curtains to get into the hallway..." Bingo.
Not gonna lie, I felt a little like a secret agent barreling through hidden doors and sneaking around in the dark... and a little sacrilegious sliding across an old altar in jeans and sneakers, but I made it. Hah! Take THAT, Women's Group (as if they locked the doors on purpose)!
I hauled tables and moved chairs across the room in a near sprint while the minutes drained. With the room still only half ready, I hopped in the car and sped out of the parking lot to go pick up the foosball table. While dashing out the door, I remember thinking, "Okay, breathe. Things aren't that bad; it's not like I'll get stuck behind another freight train." But a few minutes later, that's exactly where I was: stuck yet again behind another stupid freight train (except 'stupid' wasn't the word I used).
It was in this stressed-out, cursing, sweating, miserable moment that I finally remembered I had to trust God. It was as if everything was going frustratingly and coincidentally wrong just to remind me that God can fix anything, and cares even about our most mundane and un-heroic crosses. Even more importantly, God is with us even when we are the verge of going full-on basket case and prayer is the furthest thing from our minds.
We read in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." More often than not, the "last minute" before any youth ministry project is always filled with some sort of crisis, whether it's not having enough luggage space for our summer mission trip, not having enough drivers for a service event, or misplacing notes for a presentation. Nothing ever goes as smoothly as planned.
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| I probably made this face for 75% of our summer work trip. |
But, as St. Therese reminds us, "Everything is a grace." The chaotic, face-palming, why-did-I-take-this-job moments remind me that I am not in control of my job; God is. And that's exactly how it must be. As soon as I think I have everything down to a science and can run youth ministry with my eyes closed (not that I've ever felt that way), that's just what happens: my eyes become closed to recognizing my own, constant need for His love and grace. I think I can handle it all on my own, and then one lost, little key threatens to undo everything.
More importantly, youth ministry is not supposed to be neat and tidy. It's supposed to be messy because, well, people are messy. One parent is angry because our Confirmation program conflicts with her son's basketball schedule. Some middle schooler distracts the entire youth group discussion on the Blessed Mother when he asks, "What's a womb?" A teen comes forward to attend the mission trip after all plans are finalized. It is these last-minute, are-you-kidding-me moments that teach me to not get so wrapped up in my own plans that I forget to love the Jesus who is hiding in the very person before me. It is in these moments that I remember to trust Him, to accept my many shortcomings, and allow Him to be strong where I am weak. After all, despite all of my spazzing, everything has always worked out for the good (Romans 8:28).
It's also in these moments that I think God enjoys a good chuckle. Seriously, two freight trains? That last one was just for kicks.
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